On Brutality: My Sense of a Senseless Act.

please click on the title to see what it is I am talking about. I have to warn you it isnt easy to watch. If you are sensitive--especially about suffering children, dont watch.

There is a reason someone posted this. Even if it isn’t the reason they intended.
There is a reason I stopped and read the post and watched the video on this, the 9th day of June—almost a year to the day I lost my baby.
The reason?
There is something to be learned from this.
We can be angry.
We should be angry.

We feel sad.
And we should.
I cried.
I am writing with tears in my eyes now.
I cried to the point I felt sick when I saw this.
I wept like I did the day I lost my own daughter.
Some people believe that everything happens for a reason. I know that this thought does not comfort the parents of baby Kaleb now. But there is more that I believe...

I believe that we choose our lives. Like when we are going away to school, we choose the courses we want to take because of those things we wish to learn. Before we are born, we know full well what our experiences and our suffering will be, and we choose to enter this incarnation with the understanding that we will learn certain lessons for ourselves, and teach certain lessons to others.

For eight years I watched my baby suffer. I watched her exquisite mind trapped inside a body that did not work, wracked with seizures and subjected to countless tests, surgeries, and treatments. I used to jokingly refer to her as my little “pincushion.” I know what this family is going through. I cannot offer them any comfort, only my sympathy. Nothing is as painful as having to watch your child suffer and die.

I believe that Kaleb knew his destiny before he was born. I have to believe this or my own life would not make sense. I have to believe that he is one of the remarkable beings who choose suffering to better the lives of others. Perhaps he is here to teach us all justice? Perhaps forgiveness. Whatever the case, I love him for it. I deeply love this child who loved his parents and all of us so much that he chose this for himself.

I will pray for the conclusion that Kaleb must have. Be it one that brings him back to his family, or takes him to be with the other angels we feel were called before their time, but were not. They choose to go like they choose to come. Thank you baby Kaleb for your compassion and your courage.
Tell ‘Rissa I love her when you see her next.