On Stupidity: Wisconson ranks Number 1

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
Albert Einstein

I expect to find Wisconsin at the top of the list for the most recipients of the Darwin Awards in 2007. There are always going to be stupid people doing stupid things, but really…

According to an Associated Press Article dating March 8th, 2007, Twenty-year-old Jared Anderson, suffered serious burns to his hands and genitals according to an Eau Claire County criminal complaint. Apparently, a drunken Anderson allowed one Randell D. Peterson (aged forty-three), to spray lighter fluid on him and light him on fire.

Please understand that I would never wish ill to befall anyone—especially death or dismemberment,--but in this case someone who is actively trying to remove himself from the gene pool in such a fashion deserves to get their wish. It will be amazing indeed if Anderson is able to reproduce after this in which case he could be eligible for the Darwin in 2007. I only know of one other recipient who lived... That is a story I cant bear to retell...

As a man, I have a great appreciation for my crown scepter and family jewels. I like them right where they are—happy and healthy. I don’t know of any man who would intentionally put his tackle at risk—especially by fire!

The amazing thing is that “Anderson pulled down his pants and let Peterson spray him with lighter fluid. When the fire didn't catch, Peterson sprayed more lighter fluid on Anderson.”

Incredibly this is not the only really stupid thing that happened in Wisconsin in the past thirty days. Check this:

James Van Iveren (a thirty-nine year-old man from Oconomowoc who lives with his mother), pounded on the door of his upstairs neighbor and kicked it open without warning Feb. 12, damaging the frame and the lock. Van Iveren says he broke into an apartment because he thought he heard a woman being raped, He was armed with a cavalry sword.
Van Iveren said Tuesday that he heard a woman "screaming for help," grabbed the sword, bounded up the stairs, kicked in the apartment door and confronted the man who lived there.

"I had the sword extended. But that was all," he said.

He wasn’t the only one with his sword extended.
The sounds Van Iveren actually heard came from a pornographic movie that his neighbor had been watching.
Apparently Police seized Van Iveren's sword, but their was no need to trouble his neighbor further, he had already been seizing his own sword…

Wait that’s not all folks!

In Sheboygan, Wisconsin. A 22-year-old man was arrested for drug possession after police found a marijuana pipe and drugs stashed in his underwear. Apparently this guy’s pants were undone (while driving I might add), and authorities found a “small pipe.”

So that’s what they are calling it these days…

So as we see, Wisconsin folks are really into their… well, you know. I know I am scraping the bottom of the barrel, and that you, my beloved readers are expecting much more from me than this, but COME ON! Who does this stuff?!?! Who gives permission to a guy to set their crotch on fire? Who breaks in on a guy sword in hand?!?! At least the last one I can sort of understand. If the guy was high enough he would have forgot to sheathe his “sword” before getting into the car, and really if his “pipe” was that small, then there is even more space to hold his stash.

I’m really worried now. My father is from Wisconsin, as is my darling wife. I must remember to hide the lighter fluid.